精英外贸论坛——华南最大外贸论坛 » 外贸英语 » 看笑话，学英语(更新到141楼)

陌上尘子 发表于 2008-7-30 10:09

看笑话，学英语(更新到141楼)

Lipstick in school...
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According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington D8KBN^
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DC was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old  girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.
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~JL4j&X'd That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they wouldv+K;V7pI
Press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
3?_2]8{C Every night the Maintenance man would remove them and the next day the
(q'k.S!M@#E Girls would put them back.
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Several memos were posted about this, without effect. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the  girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man.iTv nE.ta h r gJ
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She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls just how hard it
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)U.b"SOC?ihL Under careful instructions, the man took out a long-handled7H,u5}"e3k| |!{5f*J{u
squeegee(n. 橡胶清洁器), solemnly dipped it in the nearest toilet bowl, and scrubbed at the mirror.gKc7Gjvv

;\8h2w g6}6NO$bh There was complete silence in the room.2U ia d{i@C|c

#sUqH1dv Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
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注： 个人认为，笑话一般比较短小，对于没有耐心阅读长篇英语的人还是有一定的帮助。
rf#vI:^ l*la2N4N          我现在选择的笑话，大部分有中译本。请先阅读英文，不认识的单词可以猜测和查询，从而理解整体的含义。
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oI.I] H m,Q(R*x          然后，可以回复一下阅读中文译本，对照比较理解是否有误。
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H          顺便给我点人气嘛:tb12
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陌上尘子 发表于 2008-7-30 10:10

A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married? The father replied: I don 't know son. I 'm still paying!!

陌上尘子 发表于 2008-7-30 10:11

[align=center][b]Pig or Witch[/b][/align][align=left]
j&^I z0M&xa%Y0k 　　 A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH(女巫)!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. If only men would listen.[/align]
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O2d,RF8YpJ4v4k} [align=left][b]猪还是女巫[/b][/align][align=left]?t(nK
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　　 一个男人在一条陡峭狭窄的山路上驾车，一个女人相向驾车而来。他们相遇时，那个女的从窗中伸出头来叫到：“猪！！”那个男的立即从窗中伸出头来回敬道：“女巫！！”他们继续前行。这个男的在下一个路口转弯时，撞上了路中间的一头猪。要是这个男的能听懂那个女人的意思就好了。[/align]
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[[i] 本帖最后由 陌上尘子 于 2008-7-31 10:18 编辑 [/i]]

z3h2y1 发表于 2008-7-30 11:18

这是个笑话吗，有点难度！

qwww 发表于 2008-7-30 11:36

It's really the best method to avoid those girls to leave lips prints on the mirror,i guess after they seeing what the cleaning man doing,they will output all the things from their stomaches.:tb1

压根没这人 发表于 2008-7-30 12:18

pig or witch的这个没听过， 谢谢lz

Kevin_von 发表于 2008-7-30 12:27

跟大家讨论一下，我们版的笑话要不要加中译本的？

oyjdlove 发表于 2008-7-30 12:30

有点难度！！！！

wushuang 发表于 2008-7-30 12:49

没看出来那好笑，看来我的英语还得继续修炼啊。55555555555

侬心 发表于 2008-7-30 13:10

哈哈！

[b]Pig or Witch这个笑话就不要中文译本了吧！呵呵！:tb3 [/b]

陌上尘子 发表于 2008-7-31 10:17

[quote]原帖由 [i]Kevin_von[/i] 于 2008-7-30 12:27 发表 [url=http://bbs.cnexp.net/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=1945308&ptid=217522][img]http://bbs.cnexp.net/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
.t/[&[.OL_|xIn 跟大家讨论一下，我们版的笑话要不要加中译本的？ [/quote]
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好的，我来补充一下中译的

陌上尘子 发表于 2008-7-31 10:21

[quote]原帖由 [i]wushuang[/i] 于 2008-7-30 12:49 发表 [url=http://bbs.cnexp.net/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=1945524&ptid=217522][img]http://bbs.cnexp.net/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url],PV-T1S+d6sY
没看出来那好笑，看来我的英语还得继续修炼啊。55555555555 [/quote]
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我也感觉国外的笑话没国内没那么好笑的，谁让咱国语博大精深呢
!X3Nr b;p6u 呵呵，不过可以顺便学习英语嘛

陌上尘子 发表于 2008-7-31 10:24

I know who god is!
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7vwkC^qK9Xp4o A boy says to her mother, "Mom, is God a man or woman?"?3ld-U$]4w
The mom thinks a while and says, "Well, son, God is both man and woman."
(Jq'S$_V g!u5HM(\ The son is confused, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"
Na#S4i#N The mother replies, "God is both black and white, honey."
-g GbBIien The son, still curious, says after a while, "Is God gay or straight, mommy?"
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vB7M7Q#B7H The mother, getting a little worried, answers, "Son, God is both gay and
q8s0B0KzK_+}2Z3[#DF straight.
+vXu,wk The son thinks about it, and his face lights up when he thinks he finally has&cE*d W.h_+`
answered his question: "Is God Michael Jackson?"K;O(n9\wg

,Uz2D)y(Rsn`d 儿子：那上帝是男人还是女人？
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yg1f 妈妈：宝贝，上帝是男人也是女人！FyzWaP)j+GY8a
儿子：妈妈，上帝是白人还是黑人？
t dF%V0f?|\%Z 妈妈：宝贝，上帝是白人也是黑人！
Wc&Ou^ 儿子：那上帝是同性恋还是异性恋？
@d)j x-s%d6BBFI 妈妈：宝贝，上帝是同性恋也是异性恋。
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儿子：哦。我知道了，上帝是迈克尔·杰克逊！$?!BOmO ]G2lC
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学习到了这句：Is God gay or straight？3u:R.Z#eqJ
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陌上尘子 发表于 2008-7-31 10:32

Snake Talk
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Two snakes were crawling along when one snake asked the other, "Are we poisonous snakes?"
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)\[ F"g}1_v i6d The other replied, "You're darn right we're poisonous! We're rattlesnakes(响尾蛇). Why do you ask?" .f-d$Vu0{&M
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To which the first replied, "Because I just bit my tongue."
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K.vnh2sC2L+@ 蛇的对话
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两条蛇一起爬行的时候，一蛇问：我们是毒蛇吗？0a e#r }T+Z
另一个回答：你说的对，我们是毒蛇，我们是响尾蛇。你为什么这么问？8L
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“我咬倒自己的舌头了！”
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:tb3

陌上尘子 发表于 2008-7-31 10:34

Much Worse
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Much Worse
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Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?
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Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.
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那就更糟了H'uKHF"h'r7O

7J'T x-x!X#l 警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？
!{5w1l j(?uD3i'l!F 男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。

陌上尘子 发表于 2008-7-31 10:37

A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?wg#}U~j-y
The father replied: I don 't know son. I 'm still paying!!8d*z#u#RY SkLhc
一个小男孩问他的爸爸，结婚要花多少钱？爸爸说：我不知道，因为我仍然在付帐。
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NOTE
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J-IR,e-L7s'Q 　　 pay这个词不仅是付帐的意思，还有付出代价的意思，比如he must pay for what he did.他必须为他做的付出代价。

陌上尘子 发表于 2008-7-31 10:58

How Did You Ever Get Here
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CS}f One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."
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The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?"
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"I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."
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你是怎样来的？Q*{Q#I5^B2WWN
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一个冬天的早晨，一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班。“外面太滑了，我每向前迈一步，就要向后退两步。” V_ux:g"I*o }(jz
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老板狐疑地看着他。“噢，是吗？那你是怎样到这里来的？”
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“后来我决定放弃，”他说，“然后我就往家里走。”

陌上尘子 发表于 2008-7-31 10:58

怎么没人支持我呢 :tb17 :tb17

jenny_1983 发表于 2008-7-31 17:58

good, thanks!!:tb1

Kevin_von 发表于 2008-7-31 19:51

我建议大家发“回复”可见的帖子。把中文放在  隐藏内容里

wengtaibei 发表于 2008-8-1 08:54

回复 7# 的帖子

不要，真简单的意思
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` OZ 再说就是 不明白猜猜或者自己查也对英语有好处

wengtaibei 发表于 2008-8-1 09:01

回复 13# 的帖子

:tb21 小声说，中文译本没英文的好笑
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我也喜欢你“gay or straight”.g5A$\+l JTS
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给楼主顶一下

陌上尘子 发表于 2008-8-1 09:12

[quote]原帖由 [i]wengtaibei[/i] 于 2008-8-1 08:54 发表 [url=http://bbs.cnexp.net/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=1954560&ptid=217522][img]http://bbs.cnexp.net/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
?~%Fu#y%n 不要，真简单的意思J1K4R.{.lx.\
再说就是 不明白猜猜或者自己查也对英语有好处 [/quote]Q5u3WCeg)~8B#I

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我本来也这么想的，因为我看这些笑话的时候也有几个单词不认识的，猜猜或者查询一下。呵呵，还学倒了一点

陌上尘子 发表于 2008-8-1 09:14

[quote]原帖由 [i]Kevin_von[/i] 于 2008-7-31 19:51 发表 [url=http://bbs.cnexp.net/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=1952768&ptid=217522][img]http://bbs.cnexp.net/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
i9}4Nr.g*n 我建议大家发“回复”可见的帖子。把中文放在  隐藏内容里 [/quote]!sz/bjJ
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I5t:S8km,U,Sx6Am 版主的意思是，中文隐藏，回复可见的那种？  
,i\.nm\8f%x4| 我试试看。恩，这样不是有赚回帖的嫌疑吧？:tb3

陌上尘子 发表于 2008-8-1 09:17

Two Lines In Heaven5O
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z7X Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven.SEi5HnT
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God comes and says "I want the men to make two lines.
T'w jL7} k8y| One line for the men that dominated their women on earth
\1wE jL^R}NyX and the other line for the men that were whipped by their women.
)_G#i$kCQHX Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter."
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Said and done, and there are two lines. The line of the men
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and the line of men that dominated women, there was only one man.$g EV.n#V*A ^9]:f
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God got mad and said. "You men should be ashamed of yourselves.d KHw1f{?6V%U@u)b
I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates.$b@ K]:i+R.e%a'Sg2Z
Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud.;pNQ k.?)S0f Xsa*Yf
Learn from him! Tell them, my son,C8Cc
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how did you manage to be the only one on that line?"'Y\;? K6\0zbZ&q

1A2V-s&e%b4d The man said, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."
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**** Hidden Message *****

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sIC%`k8]b [[i] 本帖最后由 陌上尘子 于 2008-8-1 09:25 编辑 [/i]]

陌上尘子 发表于 2008-8-1 09:21

Did You Know Him?
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At a dinner party in the home of friends, our host mentioned his highschool alma mater. One of the guests asked him if he had been a student there at the same time as a particular vice principal. $U7c/zR.W
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q3h'M S"qU "I sure was!" answered the host. "He's the biggest jerk I've ever met. Did you know him too?" kd\Q-D7}(ka
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"Sort of," replied the guest. "My mother married him last Saturday."
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$Ze3UgyPi **** Hidden Message *****,p[|-OT,H
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[[i] 本帖最后由 陌上尘子 于 2008-8-1 09:24 编辑 [/i]]

陌上尘子 发表于 2008-8-1 09:23

A MistakePW-f{'v;p"xQF

/w'O0u9Rk3nn An American, a Scot and a Canadian were killed in a car accident. They arrived at the gates of heaven, where a flustered St. Peter explained that there had been a mistake. "Give me $500 each," he said, "and I'll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened." [W3S:z6x-|.Im
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"Done!" said the American. Instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene. }rVu@

H?-hv1Q "Where are the others?" asked a medic. 1CRCZ N

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W4g6P5~+}m "Last I knew," said the American, "the Scot was haggling price, and the Canadian was arguing that his government should pay."**** Hidden Message *****
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[[i] 本帖最后由 陌上尘子 于 2008-8-1 11:43 编辑 [/i]]

咕咚来了。。 发表于 2008-8-1 10:02

都是大概能看到懂得，自己说出来就没有这么简单了，真是太懒惰了，太懒了1！
qn*JcNN]Wp 还要加强突破，，，谢谢分享！:tb11

半杯冷咖啡 发表于 2008-8-1 10:58

A Mistake
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[/N.I!C)Q4k{O 这个搞笑 典型的西式调侃幽默 淡淡的点出个一个国家名族的特点 :tb3

半杯冷咖啡 发表于 2008-8-1 10:59

回复 27# 的帖子

苏格兰和英格兰可不一样哦 要注意

查看完整版本: 看笑话，学英语(更新到141楼)